the not so crazy and not so quirky situations that don't arise in the day to day dealings of Allie, usually wrapping up several themes into a happy if tedious conclusion. Hopefully stressing a moral, if not good grammar.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Brick marks, the new essential forehead accessory

Hi there, 

I feel I become more and more wise as the years pass by, especially when it comes to being in a happy nourishing, healthy relationship. (imposing myself on someone's time) 


As a treat I thought I'd impart my wisdom on to the world.


Here are my essential tips to keeping the spark in the relationship.





1. Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder
  • Make cute remarks suggesting they find another person attractive. This will remind your partner that you would find it crushing if they left you and therefore you like them loads.
  • Suggest that other people may be after your partner This will flatter them reminding them that you still find them as attractive as much as the day you met them.
  • Ask to look through their mobile. this will make them feel like they are viewed by you to be an in demand person and that you think their sexual prowess will naturally attract potential new lovers. 
  •  Flirt openly, this lets you partner remember you are still desirable and will possibly find other people desirable. 
  • Pay compliments to members of the opposite sex in ear shot of your partner, this will make them think the compliment will never apply to them, in which case you can swoop in and reassure them. Day saved.


2. Effective pillow talk

For example despite the outcome of a sexual encounter, after the lights are out and your partner is falling asleep, begin a conversation dissecting the recent encounter and by extension the relationship.
With this one it's more effective to say good night, leave a few minutes,allow them to start falling asleep and from nowhere ask a question out of the blue, then when they answer your question move to a different subject giving them the impression you failed to take what they said into account. This will make you seem more like an enigma and make the relationship feel really dramatic, we all love a drama.

3. go into a bad mood

This can be a very nice thing for your partner to contend with making them feel like they have done something wrong without telling them, the phrase "I don't know, you tell me" is a good one. and then you can take it all back and make them feel like they are happier now you sorted it all out.

4. Make hints about progressing the relationship.

You can do this at anytime, for example during dating website adverts, when you pass young families in the park, Good sayings including


• I think we'd make excellent parents.
• Do you think your parents will like me?
• What sort of house would you like to move to?





5. Cry for no reason (if you're a female) or get angry for no reason (if you're a man)

this will confuse your partner and make you seem deep and mysterious to them.


6. It's all about you

Try to turn the conversation towards yourself,
good example of this, is if a dear friend of theirs is ill say how you were ill recently.


7. Everyone loves a victim.

If they haven't gotten back to you as soon as you wanted, randomly get word to them about something in your life that is going wrong, create a tragedy. This can get their attention and sympathy and we all know how sympathy equates to love and that means approval


8. Put yourself down.

Although counter intuitive, this is such a good way to trick them into paying you a compliment, they'll know you don't mean it and it will give them an opportunity to say something nice to you.


Right I think that is all you need for a lasting relationship and if you're not happy with them, you can always change them.


Good Luck!

Next week, hysterical pregnancies, implying you may have a slight eating disorder and and how to get people to listen to you talk about yourself.