Welcome to the state of Altopia
National Dish - Pizza or Vegetarian Lasagne on Tuesdays
National Anthem - don’t stop me now, by Queen.
National Holidays -
1st of January - Near Year’s Day
2nd of January - New Year’s Day, the do over
25th of January - Burns night
1st of June - New Half Year celebration
11th of June - Alliemas the celebration of your dear leader, Allie
12th of June - summer boxing day
31st of October - Halloween
1st of November - "just because alright????" day
5th of November - fun explosives day
30th of November - St Andrews Day
25th of December - Chrimbos
26th of December - Rocky Day
The Working week will be from Sunday to Thursday.
NHS - shall be re-named, The Allie Health Service. The National
insurance already claimed on every one's pay packets will count as an insurance
premium towards every one's own personal health insurance. The Allie Health
Service will be modelled on the company known as Bupa. Dentistry will be
included in the Allie Health Service.
The Fire department will continue as normal.
The Police will be renamed, Allie's Goons. Their uniforms will
include a snappy cape.
Education System - the curriculum will be standardised, some
historical events and technological achievements will be credited to the
leader.
Religious studies will only include an historical study into what
separate faiths believe. No time during school will be spent explaining
religious concepts as if they a literal. Creationism will not be
tolerated. Faith schools will not exist.
Regarding Religion and its place in Altopia -
No religions will be treated as charities, all citizens will have
the freedom to practice any religion of their choice but will also enjoy the
freedom of not having other people’s opinions forced on them. This also
includes the freedom to leave other Citizens to enjoy not being bored to death.
Door to door visits promising saving from hell will be treated as harassment.
The National Religion of Altopia will be Alliology, however this
one true faith is optional.
Christmas and Easter will return to their pagan roots.
Criminal Justice -
Prisons will be powered by bikes connected to dynamos that the
prisoners will need to use themselves. A credits scheme where they can save up
power following good behaviour to spend on TV and radio use.
The House of Lords will be cancelled. The Monarchy will be welcome
to continue to stay but will be required to be a self-sufficient business.
The political system will include more referendums where decisions will be decided by the Citizens.
All MPs will no longer be allowed expenses, their salary will be
capped at £35,000 per annum. Expenses argument, my job doesn't pay for my lunches,
I had a brother who took lunch money for months, we found out he wasn't even
attending college and well, that's what the expenses scandal reminded me of. A
fucking waster taking money not due to them, likely in order to get pissed.
Banks will non-profit organisations, like the bank of Dave, where
the shareholders will be the customers and by the branch. Like a building
society.
Currency - will stay as the £ Pound Sterling. It will show images
of the leader but in various amusing positions.
Oh and Finally, Drugs will be decriminalised and sold over the
counter in off licenses to allow for taxing and quality control. If a citizen,
as it is currently with alcohol, is unable to control recreational use of these
substances, will be treated as adults who are expected to responsibility for
their own lives. Any crimes committed by individuals using drugs will expect
the same treatment as a non-drug user. Any burden on the state will be weighed
up against the tax paid buying the products.
It’s not called wrong wing views for no reason.
